One Love

My Xtreme team journey begins and ends with one love, however the beginning and the ending point are starkly different. My trip began with one love going wrong; a broken romance that literally destroyed my heart, ripping it into pieces. Leaving me weak and in utter despair, although all those around me thought I was strong and all together. Hopeless, I began questioning God, His plan for my life, and even if I wanted to follow His plan. I was not even sure if this trip was something I should do. However, from somewhere deep down inside amongst all the pieces, I heard God tell me I needed to go. For some reason I obediently followed. So even before I was given my first official X-file, I had to Xercise my faith in order to Xperience the journey and mission God had set before me. Obeying the faint voice of God that I heard within me, I reluctantly made my way to the airport, not knowing why and regretting each step I took that drew me closer to the plane.

Eventually I made my way to Minnesota for orientation and then to Bangkok. While I was in Thailand I was able to Xtend my hand to people while leading services, planting rice, and in some mystical way by simply being there. However, most of the time I was given the chance to Xplore and see God and His world. This allowed me to see a lot - a lot of pain, but also some joy. Although through out the entire Xperience I was filled with confusion and a lot of questioning. I continued to ask “Why was I in Thailand?” I wondered, “What did God want from me? What was the purpose of me seeing all this? Did I even want to do what God had planned?” To be honest, I am still seeking some answers, but for now I believe God sent me to Thailand because there he gave me a message to share. This message actually came to me on the plane home while I was reading Mother Teresa’s recently released journals, and it is centered around a pole in Burma, which I will get to in a second.

Throughout life we all Xperience pain; in different intensities and varieties, but pain nonetheless is universal. It does not matter who you are. The brokenness of the world ensures that pain is something we will all experience. It does not matter how good or bad you may be. Pain even affected Mother Teresa, a nun who sacrificed her life to fulfill the thirst of Christ by serving the poor and the downtrodden in Calcutta. She was a woman who most would consider a saint, and even she went through times of pain and suffering, which caused her to question the very God she loved. None the less she served him, because her love for Christ trumped all else, even when she couldn’t feel Him. She served Him out of love despite not feeling him because she knew two things that enabled her to fight through the pain. 1: she knew God didn’t just love her, but He thirsted for her love, and he does the same for us. 2. No matter how hard it is to feel His love, He is always with you, and because of this truth no tear goes unnoticed.
As I was reading her journal entries and discovering these truths, they slowly became the lens through which I began to Xamine the entire trip, including all the pain I had brought with me. Our trip was not full of smiles, in fact the team witnessed a lot of pain in the places we visited. First, we saw the sex-trade in Thailand, which runs rampant, destroying the lives of all who are involved. Even the spouses of those involved are unwillfully connected, contracting AIDS/HIV from their unfaithful spouses. Amongst all the pain and the desolation the sex trade brings, I wonder where God is in all of this. Then we spent time learning the story of the Karen refugees. Their stories and their lives are full of chaos and destruction due to the selfish and inhumane acts of the Burma military/government. The very government that should be providing for and protecting its people but instead does the opposite. The refugees we met have lost their homes, their families and for some, they have lost hope. All of this once again makes me ask, “Where is God in all of this?”
Although not everyone makes it to the camps, those who don’t are called Internally Displaced People (IDP’s). We visited a certain IDP village. Twice this village was forced to run from their home as they watched their homes be pillaged, their friends and families raped, and then the village razed by the Burma army. As a result, twice they have returned and rebuilt because they had nowhere else to go. However, something is different about this village. They have Xperienced relative stability since 2002. For six years they have been safe, there have been a few scares, but no attacks on the village. For six years the army that has the power to wreak havoc on this village has not. There really is no physical or obvious reason why. I mean the village didn’t build a missile silo and they haven’t become militant. There is no deterrent protecting them. However there is a post in the middle of the village -although this post is a lot more than a post. This post is a symbol, a reminder to all that after the second time they were attacked and forced to rebuild they had made a very important decision. Once the village was rebuilt they dedicated this village to God, and since that dedication, which the pole symbolizes, the Burma army has left them alone. And if you ask anyone in the village why the Burma army has not attacked, the only reasonable Xplanation is to point you to the post.
So, “Where is God?” Well, to start off, God is in that pole, He is in that village, in their hearts; saving them, and through saving them He saved me. You see that pole showed me God’s love. The people of this village have Xperienced pain beyond my wildest dreams, but until that day, I had never heard their story, and I assume most of you didn’t know of this small village of IDP’s till today. For us all their tears, all their suffering, all their pain went unnoticed, but not to God. God saw those tears and heard their cries, God noticed because He loves them and He thirsts for them, and He thirsts for us. He lets nothing get swept under the rug.

That pole showed me God’s thirst for us and His desire to save us all. He has a rescue plan for everyone and He wants his people to help. We all have a part to play, but the question is whether we choose to accept it. But all of this begins by knowing that God desperately loves you and thirsts for your love. So my trip begins and ends with one love. Do I still struggle with the pain of my broken romance and hope for things to change? Yes, and at times the pain is unbearable. And yes, I still have questions. I have not been given all the answers. But today, thanks to a pole in small village, I have one love, and He is with me in the pain and darkness. He thirsts for my love, He thirsts for your love and He lets no tear go unnoticed. This one love, God’s love, makes all the difference.